Your Birth Story 11 - Your Body Knows What It’s Doing

Arabela’s birth

So I fell pregnant in the January 2021, lockdown rules were still in place. My husband, Al was only allowed to 1 scan, I believe that was the 20 week scan, but can’t fully remember. This in itself was nerve wracking. As a first time mum, and only 22, I hated having to go through all these appointments alone. I would instantly become anxious as I arrived at the hospital, the white walls, the bright lights, and that disinfected, clean smell. 

As somebody who has been conscious about western medicine in itself, I began researching the benefits of hypnobirthing, and the benefits of antenatal classes. However, when I asked my midwife, she slightly dismissed it and said there were no classes or anything running due to Covid. Therefore, we decided to start looking for private classes, despite having to pay £180 for a 4 week class, it was honestly the best investment we made. I felt informed, knowledgeable and positive about going into labour and thus made the decision to want a home birth. I wanted to feel comfortable in my environment, and I wanted my strongest support system around me, my mum and husband. 

My pregnancy was smooth and easy, no sickness, nothing. I adored it, watching my body change and all those little movements and quite frankly never wanted it to end. However, at 34 weeks I began to bleed, no pain, but we rushed to Aberystwyth hospital where Al was not allowed onto the maternity ward (which was terrifying, I thought I was losing my baby and was going to have to go through it all alone) The nurses hooked me up to the monitor and asked whether I was having any pains, which I weren’t just having the usual tightenings, which I presumed was braxton hicks. This is when they told me I was in labour, and was already dilated 4cm. They were planning to get an ambulance to rush me down to Carmarthen, but the consultant decided to then keep me in Bronglais, and deliver the baby and then be rushed up. I was absolutely terrified. Al was eventually allowed in, for 20 minutes and then told to leave as visiting times were over and he would be contacted if and when things progressed. Despite this being horrendous, the staff itself were absolutely lovely. Fortunately, the bleeding slowed down and stopped along with the ‘contractions’.  After scans, more examinations and 24 hours later, I was discharged on the agreement that I had a steroid injection for the baby's lungs and also that I would be on bed rest. The consultants dismissed my idea of a home birth and I would only be able to discuss this option if I made it to 37 weeks. 

For anybody who knows me, bed rest was horrendous, I’m constantly on the move and a busy bee. However, it was a Sunday morning and I begged Al for us to go out for food, so we did, we went to Aberaeron for lunch and after a small, slow walk around Denmark farm. We got back late in the afternoon where we spent the rest of the evening watching tv, where I was tired and there was some pressure at the bottom of my back, I thought it was just because I’d had a busy day. (I was 36 + 2)

Anyways, off to bed we went. At 2:50am on the dot, I sat up in bed, looked at Al who also woke up, and all of a sudden, it sounded like a water balloon had popped. I jumped up from the bed, looked at Al and said the baby is coming! All I felt was excitement, no fear. But I was adamant at that moment, I was not going to hospital again unless I started bleeding. Al had the pleasure of ringing the ward and explaining we are declining coming in. While Al was on the phone, I phoned my parents, and as my dad picked up the phone, I had my first contraction. My mum managed to get to us in 20 minutes, where I was pacing downstairs, completely naked, and as I opened the door to her, I said, I’m not going to hospital, I was greeted with a nod and a smile (she knew better than to lecture me ). Poor Al was washing up some of last nights pans, after I stressed worrying that our house wasn’t spotless for the midwives . 

As my contractions were getting closer and more intense, I kept pacing, Al was then getting the spare room ready, putting towels down. As things progressed my mum was rubbing my back and Al fanning me with a £1 paper fan, I remember him saying his arm was becoming tired, and in his words “You looked up at me with your eyes dilated, and I just knew I shouldn’t complain again ”.  My mum and Al discussed and the midwife ward was rang, they explained my contractions were close now, and think somebody should be sent out, to which we were told ‘it’s her first baby and it’s only been an hour’ thankfully my mum demanded somebody be sent out. 

I remember saying I feel the need to push, then all of a sudden the doorbell rang. The midwife came upstairs and asked to monitor me and get on my back. Thankfully from the classes I was aware of my rights and explained I was not moving from my all fours position, she then looked at my vagina and said I can see a head. 4 pushes later, my daughter, Arabela was born at 5:45am, on the 4th of October weighing a Chucky 6’11lbs. 

The second midwife came while we were having skin to skin and I was getting examined, from a quick birth (2 hours 55 minutes), unmedicated, I somehow thankfully didn’t need stitches or anything. The midwife then said about the placenta, if it didn’t come out in an hour, I would need to go to the hospital….. what?? I hadn’t even thought about that, nobody had mentioned this! As silly as it sounds, I went into complete fear, began having a panic attack, my whole body shaking. They advised I could have the injection and help it come out, I also wanted gas and air, because I was so scared. Anyways, I pretty much slipped out a few minutes later. Phew, that was a relief. We were soaking up all the snuggles after all Arabela’s checks and despite her being fine, we then had another bomb dropped on us, we were told that we would have to go to hospital as she was premature to have more checks done on her in 6 hours!! 

So off the midwife’s left, while I went for a shower, Al was emotional but soaking up his brand new tiny daughter (I’d never felt so proud to see him with her). 6 hours later, off we went to hospital, where we had to wait 2 and a bit hours before even being seen, urgh! Anyways, everything was absolutely fine and we were then sent home to enjoy our beautiful baby girl, where that evening my dad came round to meet Arabela while we got an Indian takeaway. 

I thoroughly enjoyed labour, I love how empowering it self, my body knew exactly what it was doing. I was somewhat in charge of my surroundings and the energy within my environment, I instantly knew that any future babies would also be born at home. 

Regrettably, nobody took pictures of me after having Arabela, so here is some of Al the day of her being born.

Emila’s birth story

After having a beautiful and empowering home birth with Arabela, I was adamant I wanted another home birth. 

My pregnancy symptoms were very similar to Arabela, no sickness, but I was more tired, but with my first pregnancy, I could come home from work and relax, whereas this time, I’d get home, come home to Arabela and of course keep her occupied, keep the house tidy and cook. My husband, Al worked late hours back then, wouldn’t get home until 7/8 most nights, but thankfully when he was home, he was always the biggest supporter and help. 

I was consultant led, due to Arabela being premature, but thankfully after my 20 week scan I was referred back to midwifery care. 

This pregnancy seemed to fly by, second trimester was gorgeous, again I loved being pregnant, having the bump and feeling all the kicks. 

Around 30 weeks, Al unexpectedly lost his job, which of course was a very stressful time, the fear of how we are going to afford childcare, mortgage and just life in general. 

At our next hospital appointment, they noticed my bump was not growing as they expected. We were referred for an emergency scan, despite feeling constant movement and kicks. The baby was measuring small, but doing fine, but I was referred back to the consultant led as they were worried about the growth and the baby coming early, and therefore, I would have scans every 3 weeks. However, the following week I kept getting horrendous pain, odd stabbing, this is when they put it down to stress but also concerned about another prem baby and put me on bedrest. The following week at the scan, they were worried about the blood flow of my placenta not going to the baby, so I was then issued weekly scans. 

Thankfully, Al found another job a few weeks after, and constant monitoring thankfully the baby started putting on weight, at 37 weeks I was signed back to midwifery led and allowed to have my home birth. 

The birth itself, having never had ‘early signs of labour’ with Arabela, every twinge and braxton hicks, I would get excited thinking this is it. However, nothing ever progressed. As my due date was approaching, I began feeling less like I was going to give birth, the twinges stopped and I started thinking as if the hospital was pretty convinced that this baby was going to come early. Anyway, it was February half term, I had Arabela at home, a busy three year old who doesn’t stop until she sleeps haha. We went to town with my best friend and her newborn, we were walking the prom, down the high street and all of a sudden, we got pooed on by a seagull, I’m not talking a little bit, it was a LOT, all on the pram, our clothes and hair. My best friend said this is good luck, and wanted to buy a lottery ticket. (I’ve only ever bought a ticket once before) but felt compelled to, imagine if I did when the lottery?! We went back to mine, I completely forgot about the ticket, I’d left it in the car, but unfortunately I didn’t win anything. 

That night I cried in the bath to Al, said I was tired but generally thought the baby was never going to come, and we both went to bed early. The next morning, my alarm went off at 6am (I’m a morning person haha), I went to the toilet and thought I had a dodgy stomach, felt achey and thought I’d go back to bed for another half an hour. At 6:45am, I heard Al getting up, so off I went downstairs to make his pack lunch. Around 7, I’m buttering his sandwich and got a ‘punching’ feeling, and said “maybe you shouldn’t be going to work”, but within a few seconds it completely went, so I said “no, you go to work, I’m fine”. However, around 7:15, the pains were becoming more intense. This time, Arabela had come down stairs, was sitting on the sofa, both of them happily eating porridge. I then said that “I think you should let your work know and tell my parents that I’m potentially going into labour”.  Al pointed out in disbelief and said my waters haven’t broken. I obviously gave an awful stare, because he went straight to his phone and proceeded to contact people. 

I went upstairs as I needed to urgently go to the toilet (my body obviously clearing itself out, this never happened with Arabela). As Al was on the phone to either his boss or my parents, poor Arabela came upstairs wanting to see what was wrong as I was moaning out in pain. I shouted saying get downstairs, which I instantly then burst into tears feeling like the worst mum, she looked so scared. Al obviously then realised and came upstairs on the phone to the midwife who wanted to speak to me, absolutely not I thought . As Al took Arabela down stairs, I was banging on the wall, panicking thinking, I’m all alone, I’m going to have this baby all by myself, fear began to kick in. I kept shouting where is everyone, thinking I’d been alone for ages, my mum and dad finally arrived (they got here in 15 minutes from when Al phoned, but it felt like a lifetime since I told him to ring them). My dad took Arabela to theirs, my mum came up to me, while Al got the towels ready downstairs. 

I came downstairs, was on all fours, the midwife was here, where I was saying I needed to push, and could I have gas and air now, but she looked and once again, the baby's head was there. I thought, there wasn’t much point, I knew I could do this. 

I pushed again and out came the head, another push later and out came the baby, but the umbilical cord was very short, tiny in fact and the baby was hanging upside down. It was a bit of a panic and I needed to quickly turn round and lie down so they could get the baby in a better position, this is when Al identified that we had another little girl. The midwife was brilliant and calm but explained because of the cord, it needed cutting quickly, which Al did the honours. This is when they noted the time of birth 8:43am, I had only been in labour for 1 hour and 43 minutes, wow! 

The whole ordeal about the placenta was then mentioned, where again I panicked, needed gas and air to come out . I always laugh at the thought that I’ve had two unmedicated births, but the placenta, panic and need to have gas and air. Oh my gosh, I will never have gas and air again, I felt drugged, the room was spinning and everybody was going tiny. It was a horrible experience to end with, it made me paranoid, I thought they were going to take my baby away and to hospital (this was never even mentioned, but I think because they were so concerned about complications when I was pregnant, this played a part in my fear?) 

I then calmed down, came back to reality and became to soak up my beautiful new daughter, Emila who weighed 7’1lbs. I was determined to get photos straight after birth this time, so here is me, still in the same place I had given birth. 

However, a few minutes later I was adamant we needed to ring my dad and Arabela, who was overjoyed she had a sister (she wanted a sister all along ). The midwife’s left, we had a gorgeous relaxing afternoon just my mum, Al, myself and Emila. Dad came round later that afternoon with Arabela and we all had domino’s on the sofa, it was amazing. That evening, Arabela was adamant she wanted to go sleep over Nanny and Grandpa, so off she went, while we soaked up the newborn bubble. 

Life having two girls is a true blessing, Arabela has adapted so well and loves playing ‘babies’ with Emila haha. The one thing I did struggle with, was the after pains, a few days later they were agonising, worse than labour! Although I am undecided but keen to have another baby, who knows, the thought it may get quicker labour and the damage that can have on the body and baby is a factor, but also that the after pains get worse. However, if I could go through labour as smoothly and empowering as the other two, I would do it in a heartbeat.  So we shall just see how the future pans out. But for now, I’m enjoying being a family of 4.

Roxanne 2021 & 2025